Sometimes occasions when I'm called to communicate with you come to me
driven by a sense of urgency. Yet in these moments of urgency there's
no em-ergency. Rather, they occur when I'm doing
something else, then suddenly a single indicator light comes on,
flashing "channel opened - communicate now!". Accompanying these
moments are quiet awe and wonder while your presence quickly fills my
entire being till I'm close up to your image on the enormous
IMAX
screen of my experience. Out of the blue I'm deeply
touched, moved, and inspired.
Sometimes what's there to communicate is simply my profound unabashed
thanks for the
privilege
of our relationship. Sometimes what's there to share is a joy or a
triumph in my life, results our friendship makes possible.
I start being with you this way with the same sense of "now is the
time!" which drives NASA when there's only one exact
opportune moment to launch, given weather conditions. If the target
window closes, if the opportunity's squandered, the launch is
aborted. There can't be another shot for a few days. It'll be just like
that if I dither over the moment to be with you. It's what keeps me
awake, intentional, attentive, on high alert.
On other times the target window's wide open. There's no sense of
urgency. Yet when I start to say something, there's nothing. It's oddly
disconcerting when, realizing a long
anticipated
opportunity to be in communication with you, I open my mouth in front
of you and nothing comes out.
When there's an opportunity to launch, when the target window's wide
open yet there's nothing to say, I could leave it at that. I could stay
in the nothing with you and not communicate. The choice is a no
brainer. I'd rather choose to communicate with you saying nothing
than not communicate with you at all. I notice I'd rather say
something ... even if that something is nothing.
And if I do lapse, if I ever succumb to not communicating, if but
the merest hint of going out of communication with you
shows up, as long as I've listened your presence calling me to
communicate then we're in communication given the space of
our relationship. When I get that, I notice the gold pad
switch is always on. I can never be without you.
Whenever I stand in your space I'm profoundly rocked. I don't
know why. I don't question it anymore. Whatever it is, it works. I
allow the emotion. I notice the depth of experience from where being
moved like this arises. It's awesome. It's the north to
which compasses are trued. I true my life to it. I true my life to you.
This is the joy, the unbridled ecstasy in my life: creating being with
you when I'm with you. This is the underlying power, the strength of
character in my life: creating being with you when I'm not with you.