Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

I Am Love With You

Atlas Peak Appellation, Napa Valley, California, USA

February 19, 2006

This essay, I Am Love With You, is the companion piece to
  1. 100%: A New Paradigm For Relationship
  2. Love Living Into Love
  3. I Listen You
in that order.

It is also the first in a group of eighteen on Love: I am indebted to Curt Hill who inspired this conversation.

I am love with you.

Wait! Did you hear me say "I am in  love with you"?

Look again. That's not what I said.

There's two things to get here. One, if you heard me say "I am in  love with you", notice your already always listening regardless of what was actually spoken. Two, "I am in love with you" is a concept; "I am love with you" is an experience.

The overriding assumption of life in the universe as we know it to be is "This isn't  it!". Or as Werner distinguishes, life is a game in which what isn't is more important than what is. A corollary of that assumption ie what goeswith  it is I have no love to start with (as Alan Watts may have said), and if I don't get love from you, I get none at all. At worst, that's one strange  state of affairs. At best, you're in good company if that's how it is for you. You have no love. I have no love. Yet we revel in whatever it is we call love that we, each having none, give to each other.

To be sure, when you and I get love that way from each other, it's one of the best things there is, one of the redeeming features of life as we know it dragging on at this petty pace  (as William Shakespeare may have said). That's what we mean literally  by being in  love: that rare, indeterminate yet delicious state in which I having no love am warmed by you also having no love, each putting our no love in the space between us in which we both then swim (hence the expression being in  love) yet having no real mastery over causing it nor having any of it left if either of us doesn't want to play anymore.

An entirely new possibility for love is called into being when I take responsibility for my experience. When I look at my experience of love I see love, the state when things are what they are and aren't what they aren't, as my source. I come from it. I am it. At first that seemingly most obvious of all obvious realities eludes me. Yet as I look at it I notice (double negatives aside) it can never not  be that way.

Coming from love I bring love to relationship rather than looking to relationship to give me love. Love is my source. Love is where I come from. I am love. Love is your source. Love is where you come from. You are love. I am love and you are love. I am love with you.

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