This essay,
At Home As
Self,
is the second in the complete group of
Experiences Of A Friend
(click
here
for the open group
Experiences Of A Friend II):
I gradually realized he doesn't allocate his resources the same way as
me. That is to say, he doesn't allocate his resources the same way as I
allocated my resources before
I met him.
Before
I met him
I measured allocating my resources in time. Because that's what
I had: twenty four hours worth every day. Whatever I allocated as
resources all had to come out of my twenty four hours worth total daily
allowance.
As I got to know him, as I came into knowing a new possibility for
being, I realized the way I held allocating resources out of my twenty
four hours worth total daily allowance, was kind of ... well ...
quaint. Being around him, I started sensing the possibility of
allocating my resources like he does: allocating resources out of
space rather than out of time. Whereas before I might have
asked myself "Do I have enough time to do this?" (to be
sure, in the beginning I had no clue there was any other
way to ask it), as I watched
him at work
I started seeing how I could ask a much more powerful question by
asking not about time but instead about being ... like
this: "Do I have enough being, do I have enough
Self,
do I have enough space to do this?".
That's
transformation. I'll be
be honest with you: I love the life I get to live this way. I've not
got much
interest
in having my old life back and doing Life that way again. Honest I
don't.
When
I first met him
I knew he was great. That much was unmistakable. Great like
nothing
going on. Great like open, accessible, and available. Great like
listening to you as if you're the most important thing going on in
the universe right now. Great like radiating love and knowing
you notice he's radiating love. Great like having passed the
point of being driven to figure Life out. Great like having gotten to
the point of knowing there never was anything to figure
out in the first place.
Great like when you're with him, you get it too - by sheer
osmosis and direct infusion. Great in that way. Great like
that.
The undistinguished greatness (if you will) you get from a
person when you first meet them,
creates
a
clearing
to get the depth of their greatness over time as you watch
them work,
as you watch howthey work.
If it's the greatness of
the first meeting
which gets you to see their greatness, then it's
watching them work
over time which gets you to see the possibility of your own
greatness.
At least that's how he landed for me. I don't measure allocating my
life by time any more - at least there's now ample evidence I don't
have to. I measure allocating my life and my resources, by
being. In doing so, I discover this is when Life
catapults
from the dull, from the drab and the
ordinary,
springing clear over the merely
extraordinary
and not stopping until the realm of the miraculous is reached. And you
don't have to be at home for it to happen either. The possibility is it
happens evenly wherever you are. That's because you only and always are
really and truly at home as
Self.
That's the greatness I got access to and was blown away balls to the
wall inspired by - starting with a greatness like
nothing
going on and then coming to maturity with a greatness like
allocating life and resources by being rather than by time. To say it's
anything less than a
privilege
to be around it and bear witness to it and
participate
with it, is really not to tell the truth at all.