Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More




Maybe It's Not Even My  Body

Browns Valley, California, USA

January 2, 2020



"Our claim to own our bodies and our world is our catastrophe." ... WH (Wystan Hugh) Auden, Canzone

This essay, Maybe It's Not Even My  Body, is the companion piece to
  1. It's a Body Not A Disposal
  2. Interoception: Listening The Body
in that order.

I am indebted to Joan "Joani" Culver who contributed material for this conversation.




This conversation explores an unusual possibility: that my body may not even be "my"  body after all - therefore by inference, your body may not be "your" body after all either. That's radical. As an observable experience, what (if any) value could there possibly be in considering such an idea to be worthwhile enough to look into?

If you look closely, if you've been following the conversation for transformation diligently, you'll notice there's an entirely new light now shining on who we are ie there's an entirely new light now shining on who we might be really. There's a new ongoing scrutiny of this thing  (if you will) we call "I / me". A new possibility for what this thing we call "I / me" might be, has presenced itself. Until this new possibility emerged, "I / me" was  who we are. And now that this new possibility has emerged, "I / me" may not be who we are after all. Instead "I / me" may just be something that shows up  for us - along with everything else that shows up for us. This isn't merely smart chat. If you embrace this idea and stand in its space ie if you try it on for size, you may find it to be profoundly freeing.

What all the aforementioned suggests ie what it teases out, is the idea that who we might be really  is the space in which "I / me" (and everything else) shows up. Stated with rigor, who we might be really, is the showing  itself. Now, is that true?  For the purpose of the inquiry, let's entertain the possibility that it is (and if it turns out later it isn't, we'll discard it). OK, if  it's true, then "my / mine"  (the first cousin of "I / me", if you will) may also not be what we've always held it to be. Indeed, it may not have the same association at all anymore as it once had - at least not in the same way as we once inferred it had, given what we now know about "I / me".

All of this was in the background in the past year and a half as I became involved deeper and deeper in a thorough scrutiny of what's the best diet / fuel for my body, going way beyond what's generally  accepted to be the best diet / fuel for our  bodies, and into the realm of what's specifically  the best diet / fuel for mine. I noticed what kept coming up was the notion of / reference to "my body" - not just the  body or even a  body, but "my"  body. It occurred over and over and over again - multiple times in this particular conversation (which is entirely appropriate of course, in a conversation about diet). "It's 'my' body" is one of those ironclad concepts that's built into the machinery. That's how sure  of it we are. We don't give it a second glance. "It's my  body" we say. Period. Everyone knows that. But ... is ... it?

Then I stopped. In an epiphany, I saw maybe my body isn't really "my"  body. That's not simply because the entire notion of "my / mine" is up for grabs, given "I / me" isn't who we are anyway. It's because as an experience, the body is just here, present, something for which I choose to be responsible. If who I really am is the showing ie if who I really am is (in a sense) Life itself being itself, then it's Life's  body, not "mine" - and it simply goeswith  my experience of being here. Maybe.

Look: this isn't just clever semantics. It's a concept-breaking idea, a boundary-stretching idea. I really do  have it as "my" body (don't you?). But "I / me", and with it "my / mine", has been recontextualized  (I love that word). So I'm no longer sure if it is  my body. It's just here. It seems it goeswith my experience of being here.

This is interesting: the idea that "it's here, yet maybe it's not even my  body" clearly alters the way I relate to it. But that's only its secondary impact. Primarily it alters the way who I might be really, shows up for me. And listen: maybe it's true  that it's not even my body, and maybe it isn't. Whichever, it's a place from which, when I stand and look, I get an entirely new view of who I might be really. In this way, inquiring into whether it's really "my" body or not, is an access to transformation.



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