Here's one possible way, one potent, powerful
tool
I've devised for myself which
recontextualizes
how I hold any relationship which ends. I got it from something
Werner Erhard
proposed
over dinner one
evening
when our conversation turned in that direction - which is to say I
got it from something
Werner Erhard
proposed
over dinner one
evening
when he got me to see something I wasn't seeing.
It's simple. It's always simple - but then again, once you know
anything, it's always simple. The pictures of what a relationship
looks like at the very end, aren't the only pictures of the
relationship. The pictures of what a relationship looks like at the
very end when it's often acrimonious, confused, and hurtful, are
but one tiny fraction of the entire collection of pictures of the
relationship. There are pictures of the relationship starting.
There are pictures of the relationship gaining traction and
becoming vibrant, vigorous, and vivid. There are pictures of the
relationship being
creative,
alive,
and pregnant with possibility. What I got from the dinner
conversation with
Werner
is this:
Only etching a relationship with pictures of its end,
of its demise, when there are so many other great
pictures to etch it with, is eloquent testimony to how
we're so easily overcome by feigned scarcity. In any long,
great, happy relationship, there's a veritable
plethora of pictures of it. The pictures of the
relationship when it ended are but one tiny fraction of the entire
collection. Etch the ended relationship with any pictures
but those.
It
works.
It really
works.
Always be open to
being related to everyone you have been related to.
It doesn't do any good etching an ended relationship with pictures
of acrimony, confusion, and hurt even if there was
acrimony, confusion, and hurt. When I do that, the only person who
pays the price for doing so is me. I pay a price in loss of power,
loss of energy, and diminished
creativity.
It's easy enough to replace the pictures with which an ended
relationship is etched, with any number of other great pictures.
Since I'm the author of how I hold the way a relationship ended,
and since I do this by choosing which pictures will etch the
relationship in my memory, I can
recontextualize
how I hold the way it ended (which is to say I can
recontextualize
the relationship which ended) simply by choosing a vibrant,
vigorous, vivid collection of pictures from it, with which to etch
its memory.
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