I am indebted to Linda Zraik and to Paul Roth who inspired this
conversation.
Being
requires a muscle, a certain muscle, a muscle used not unlike a muscle
for running or for lifting weights is used. A muscle
works
and continues
working
as long as it's exercised ie as long as you use it regularly. Yet it
quickly becomes ineffective ie out of shape when you stop using it. I
assert we stopped, for the most part, using our
being
muscle a long time ago, a supposition which is underlined and brought
home
each and every time there's a dearth in the quality of life. Given
we're the authors of the quality of our lives, when there's a dearth in
the quality of life, it's pretty convincing evidence our being muscle
is out of shape.
There's
being
like existing. Then there's
being
like
beingpresent,
like
beingalive.
It's that kind of
being
this
conversation's
about. We can put that kind of
being
into any environment - which is to say we can bring our
being
to any experience. We can put
who we are
into any space under any circumstances, regardless of whatever else is
going on at the time. Exercising
being
(which is to say just ...
being)
requires rehabilitating and exercising your
being
muscle (if you will). This idea of a
"being
muscle" is
nothing
new. And even if the idea of a
being
muscle is new to you, its applicability isn't.
Watchchildrenplay.
They're fully engaged in doing. They're completely in
action.
Yet if you look
closely,
you can't help but notice all they're doing is
being.
Those
children
were you and me once. All we did was
play
and
be.
And then we learned (Man! did we learn ...) to get serious
about life, to concentrate on doing, and to dismiss purely
playing
and
being
as a
childish
pursuit ie as something we were expected to wise up to, to get smart
about, and to get over.
When we did that ie when we wised up to it, got smart about it, and got
over it, we called it growing up. And dutifully grow up we did.
Yet pretty soon it became obvious that the
trouble
with what we called growing up was in the process, we lost
who we are.
The cost of growing up ie the price we
paid for growing up, was losing just
being
and the joy of simply
playing
and
beingwho we are.
And then (if we tell
the truth
about it) we spent the rest of our lives from then on thinking about
being
(in one form or another) and trying to get it back - or at
least thinking about ways to get it back.
In the meantime,
the world
kept on grinding into us to forget about
being,
and to concentrate on doing and on learning how to do even more. Doing
without
being
was always strangely unsatisfying - that is to say doing without
being
was s'posed to satisfy yet it never did, did it? People
who've done eveything, people who've achieved
croesan wealth yet who are famously dissatisfied,
unfulfilled, and incomplete, are legion - perhaps they're best
characterized by the
William Randolph Hearst
protagonist Charles Foster "Citizen" Kane who, at the end of his long,
accomplished, milestone filled life, still famously wanted for one
thing: his childhood toy, his sled
Rosebud.
Listen:
on our
deathbed
is one heck of a place and time to start
wondering
whether or not a life lived only doing yet without being, was really
worth it, yes?
Being
is now.
Being
is here. It's not later when the current incident (whatever it is) is
over. It's not soon when it's "a better time" and I'm more relaxed and
have less on my plate, and fewer distractions, and when I can finally
get around to it. It's not after a while when things have
settled down. And it's not some place else where things look and feel
different. It's now and it's here and it's with whatever's going on. If
being
requires a certain time, a particular place, a preferred condition or
a specific qualification, then it's not
being.
Then it's a certain
quieting
maybe - but it's not
being.
Then it's a certain easing maybe - but it's not
being.
Then it's a certain relaxing maybe - but it's not
being.
Then it's a peak experience maybe - but it's not
being.
If it's truly
being,
then it's
being
with whatever's going on (whatever it is) whenever it's going on and
wherever it's going on, with whatever you're doing.
Graduating
from doing to
being
is the
nextcommitment,
the
next
step worth taking - arguably it's the only step which,
when taken, really makes a lasting difference.