What You've Really Been Withholding Is
"I Love You"
Barnhouse Napa Brews, Napa, California, USA
June 1, 2026
"When you've said all of the bad things and all of the good things you
haven't been saying, you will find that what you've really been
withholding is
'I love you'."
...
Werner's
work presents us with the possibility of being transformed (as is now
universally known). At first, being transformed is an essentially
individual experience. I say that from the point of view of the
participants in
Werner's work,
a point of view that the flagship delivery of transformation takes into
account and accomodates. It ought to. It's what humans are like. All
the generic experiences we have (at least to begin with) are uniquely
ours. Therefore it follows that this is how it goes with the experience
of being transformed also. And the experience of being transformed
begins at the level of individual.
Then as we grow into and live out of our new experience of being
transformed, it soon becomes obvious that being human, we're really a
lot more like each other than we may like to acknowledge ie we're not
that unique after all. And so neither are our experiences. It's
tantamount to arrogance to assume there's something special about our
individual experiences ie something special about moi (the
adage says "We're either all special ... or none of us
are.").
And so the next iteration of
Werner's work
arises, which is: becoming immersed in the possibility of experiencing
transformation at the level of group. A "group" in this sense is
any two or more people together. At first, when I as an individual
experience transformation, I get transformation of Self, and to
a certain extent I also get transformation of Self in the world.
And my speaking transformation of Self to Self and to the world, lays
bare the foundation for speaking transformation of Self to Self and to
the world, at the level of group.
Suddenly there's more to be spoken, a lot more. That's
because it's what people at the level of group naturally do: we speak
with each other. And one of the first items on the agenda that being
transformed at the level of group calls for, is speaking what
hasn't been spoken ie addressing what's been buried
unspoken ie adressing what the bottom line communication for people is
... underneath it all. That's what's been (quote unquote)
withheld. If it hasn't already done so, it will soon become
patently obvious that being transformed doesn't thrive in any milieu in
which communication is withheld (so much so that this point could be
another dedicated subject for another conversation on another
occasion).
