Conversations For Transformation:
Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard
Conversations For Transformation
Essays By Laurence Platt
Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard
And More
The Same Old Same Old
Robert Mondavi Winery, Oakville, California, USA
October 2, 2014
I ran into an old
friend
with whom I haven't talked in quite a while. It was good to see him
again. A lot of water has flowed under both of our bridges (so to
speak)
since we last met. With a lot to catch up on, we arranged to get
together for a cold beer at the end of a ferociously hot summer's day
in my home town (my home village, actually). We sat opposite
each other at a table at an outdoor café
watching
the endless passing parade of people, talking easily, enjoying our
renewed connection (with true
friends
the connection may lapse and be renewed, but it never goes away
entirely).
At some point I asked him if he's been in a
seminar
lately - the last time we
spoke
which was way back when, he was a regular
participant.
It turns out he hasn't been in a
seminar
for quite a while. I had no particular judgement of him for that.
People are in
seminars,
or they aren't.
Seminars
are always there to come back to, and there's no coercion to
participate
or not to. But what he said
next
caught my
interest,
both for what it implied, as well as for something about it I wanted to
address. He told me that being in
seminars
(which is to say
participating
in
Werner's work)
had (quote unquote} "stopped
working
for him". He told me he loved being in the
seminars
themselves, but having been away from
the work
for a while, it had stopped
working
for him.
I
listened
until he'd said everything he wanted to say about it, sipping my icy
Pabst Blue Ribbon and not interrupting him. When he'd
finished
speaking,
I still hadn't said anything. So he said / asked slowly, defensively
"... Sooo? ..." - like he was expecting something, a
challenge, a put down, a make wrong perhaps, a response,
anything. "No, I've got
nothing
to add" I said, "I got it. It
worked
for you. And then it stopped
working.".
He didn't actually say my response was a relief for him.
Yet I could tell it was. Perhaps he thought I was going to make him
wrong for saying
Werner's work
stopped
working
for him. But I didn't. His experience that it stopped
working
for him, was totally valid. And I got his communication. Being gotten
unconditionally without being made wrong, was a relief for him. No
longer being defensive, he was open to looking at it newly. That's when
I said "Tell me: what if it didn't stop
working
for you? What if you stopped
working
for it?", to which he responded (as anyone might have) "What do you
mean?".
The
words
were barely out of
my mouth
when he nodded quickly a few times and said "I got it. Thank You!
You're right. I did stop
speaking
it. I didn't get that. I did get it stopped
working
when I hadn't been in a
seminar
for a while. But I didn't get the connection with me stopping
speaking
it. I didn't connect the dots. And you know,
the worlddid start to feel like the same old same old - as if
transformation
never
happened.
But actually it was me being the same old same old.".
We sat there looking at each other, smiling and talking as the
endless passing parade of people streamed by. My Pabst Blue Ribbon was
empty.
I didn't order another.