I am indebted to Victoria Hamilton-Rivers who contributed material for
this conversation.
As I develop myself, as I train myself, as I
deconstruct the way I've been being so I can
createwhatever the next experience
with you is
newly with a
beginner's
mind
if you will, what unavoidably occurs for me, what
inexorably
dawns on me is this will no longer so much be an experience I'll
create,
as it'll be an experience which is already
present,
an experience which is already full, wholly and completely formed, and
my job is simply to reveal it so it can happen by itself.
Michelangelo, when asked to explain the process by which he sculpted
David from the marble slab, said he didn't sculpt David
from the marble slab. What he said was David was already there, already
wholly and completely formed, already
present
in the slab. His job was simply to remove the excess marble.
God!
I love Michelangelo's way of seeing things ...
I've shifted my
business as
usual
approach to
creating
an experience. I'll not so much be
creating
an experience with you, as I'll be revealing the
experience, the experience which is already full, the experience which
is already wholly and completely
present
in the space, so it can happen
as it wants to
happen
by itself.
The result of this new tack, the upshot of this new approach surprises
me. There's a dramatic change in what's available to me in preparing
for such occasions. Indeed, there's a dramatic change in the very
role preparing for such occasions plays. It's not an easy
change to undergo either. To the contrary, it's like running full
tilt into a wall. Not like a rock wall (fortunately), not
even like a wooden wall - both of which could do me some harm if I
impacted them at speed. Rather it's like a foam rubber
wall, a wall of foam rubber just dense enough to stop me completely in
my tracks when I run at it full tilt, yet not solid enough to hurt me
on impact.
Here's my analogy of the foam rubber wall decoded:
In preparing for our meeting, I look at what I'll say to have things be
complete. I start an inventory of things which aren't complete and
which should be complete ... but ... I see it's all
already complete with you. Then I look at personal things to ask which
haven't been asked. I start an an inventory of things I haven't asked
you which should be asked ... but ... everything which should be asked
has already been asked. So I look at personal things to share
which haven't been shared. I start an inventory of things I haven't
shared with you which should be shared, but everything which should be
shared has already been shared.
This is the wall which stops me in my tracks. It's the realization
that, in spite of my best
intentions
to prepare something great to maximize my time with you,
there's nothing that needs
to be done.
It's all already complete. It's all already said. It's all already
asked. It's all already shared. All there is to do to maximize my time
with you, is be with you. And when I get that, then
I see how all my
well-intentioned,
preparation only gets in the way (it's very subtle ...) of
being with you fully, wholly, completely. I see all my ardent
preparation, amounts to trying to sculpt David from the slab, when what
I should be doing is just removing the excess marble ...
I'm completely stopped by this. I can't manipulate my way around it.
There's no way out. There's no avoiding it. There's no place to hide.
There's nothing to hide behind. Eventually I stop
resisting
it. In a
breakthrough
born of surrender, I respect it, I
honor
it - because it's what ensures when I get
to be with you, that's all I do with you: be.
This possibility, the possibility of being with you with
nothing
- absolutely
nothing
- going on, with absolutely
nothing
added to the space, is something fierce, something wonderful.
Its fierceness, like a tiger's roar,
wakes me up.
Its wonder, like
real love,
inspires me. With absolutely
nothing
added to the space, I become
present
enough to get (which is to say I become
present
enough to simply notice)
who you are
is what humanizes the infinite
context
of my life. Indeed, I become
present
enough to notice
who you are
is what humanizes the infinite
context
of Life itself.
In coming to know you as this, I come to know
my Self
as this. In coming to know
my Self
as this, I come to know everyone as this.