Conversations For Transformation:
Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard
Conversations For Transformation
Essays By Laurence Platt
Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard
And More
Silver Boxes
The Michael Mondavi Family Taste
Gallery,
Los Carneros Appellation,
Napa Valley,
California, USA
September 15, 2013
"The pathway to having isn't wanting. If you want something, you
need to have a different relationship with it other than wanting
it, in order to have it."
...
"To hold, you must first open your hand. Let go."
... Lao Tzu
This essay,
Silver Boxes,
was conceived at the same time as
When we refer to "keeping things in silver boxes", it's a
euphemism for keeping special experiences
alive,
for keeping special occasions
alive.
For this conversation, I'll assert something which at first may land as
controversial: when we refer to keeping things in silver boxes, it's
also a euphemism for something we do (mostly unwittingly) which
keeps us stuck in the past.
I say it may land as controversial because silver boxes aren't often
thought of this way. When we consider what we would keep in not just
any old boxes but rather in silver boxes,
there's a connotation of something special, yes? - especially
when it comes to what would be worth keeping in silver
boxes. You wouldn't keep things in silver boxes unless they were worth
a lot to you ie unless they were special, right? And ordinarily we
don't consider special things, special experiences, and special
occasions as included in the set of those experiences with which we get
stuck in the past. Ordinarily we consider experiences in the order of
trauma (both soft and hard),
upset,
being incomplete etc as the set of experiences with which we get stuck
in the past.
It's true. We do get stuck in the past with such experiences. Yet we
also get stuck in the past with silver boxes or at least with what
we keep in them with all their connotations of specialness,
just as surely we get stuck in the past with any trauma, with any
ongoing upset, with any incompletion. It's even possible we get
stuck in the past more effectively with silver boxes and
with what we keep in them, than we ever could with trauma or with
being upset
or with being incomplete because silver boxes' associated specialness
somehow grants them an exemption from our inquiry and our
examination.
Gee! I hope you get that.
Listen: there's nothing wrong with the propensity we have to keep
special experiences in silver boxes. It's one of our most endearing
human qualities. What may land as controversial is by keeping special
experiences in silver boxes, we're unwittingly keeping ourselves stuck
in the past. In an inquiry, that's what makes this
interesting.
It's not a simple line. It's not that it's bad experiences
with which we get stuck in the past, but we don't with
good ones. It's that we have the potential to get stuck in
the past with all experiences, even special ones in silver
boxes.
This assertion has very little impact if it's taken on face value just
because I say it's so. It does, however, have some impact when you
examine it for yourself, then
observe
this is just the way it is for us human beings.
What's to be done about it? The answer to that question is:
nothing.
What's to be done about the blood flowing through your veins?
Nothing.
What's to be done about the oxygen entering your lungs?
Nothing.
These are default states for us human beings. And you
could also say it's a default state for us human beings to get stuck in
the past - and that's regardless of whether it's bad experiences or
whether it's special experiences in silver boxes with which we get
stuck.
What's powerful here is to consider that without generating a
stand
for what's possible for the future, we human beings don't have a
default state which generates the future. In particular, we
human beings don't have a default state which generates
a future worth living
into.
Look around you: the evidence for that assertion is simply Life looking
the way it looks today.
This conversation isn't about so-called bad experiences with which we
get stuck in the past. It's not even about special, so-called silver
box experiences with which we also get stuck in the past - and we do,
even if it's not as obvious we do, as with bad experiences. What this
conversation is really about (which is to say, what it
points to) is living Life as a
stand
for what's possible. Without a
stand
for what's possible, human being has the propensity to get
stuck in the past with all Life's experiences. In other
words,
all Life's experiences have the potential to
devolve
that way, including (surprisingly, perhaps, but only because they're
likely to be less examined than traumatic experiences) those special,
treasured ones we keep in silver boxes.