She came to me late one night, this angel of light and love and
bubbling laughter. If she hadn't come I would have been OK without her.
But she did come, and when she looked at me for that first time, I
melted realizing I was born to love her forever.
There's no qualifying a love like this. It's simply there. It
doesn't occur as a condition for anything. It's mutual. It's
reciprocal. There's never a question of or a concern for it being
unrequited. It will never go away. It will only expand. Sometimes it's
almost
too much
to be fully open to.
There's no manipulation required to keep it in place. There's no games
required to redirect it or to improve it. It's enough in and of itself
to validate entire lives. It sets the bar for what's possible in
all relationships, and it's
vast
enough to provide a context for everything a human being will ever do
on
Earth.
Certainly it's an exceptional gift when this angel comes to me. But
she's not like
money.
When I have
money,
I have it. When I don't, I don't. She's not like that. When she's with
me it's a gift. When she's not with me, it's still a gift just knowing
she's on the same
planet
as me, wherever she may be.
In love with her I have no attention on myself. I want nothing in
return. All I want is for her to be uncomplicated and free so her
exuberance
and unrestrained joy flow freely yet directed into the endeavors she
chooses to immerse herself in. Indeed, what can I give a gushing geyser
of enthusiasm as beautiful and as true as she?
There's an area in my life where I notice I do have something to offer
her. That's in my speaking and listening, and in the invented
distinction "who I really am" as opposed to "who I'd always considered
myself to be". When I first experienced transformation, I knew the way
I had lived up until that moment was finished. I saw
it was all over for Laurence
Platt.
I saw
who I am
is the space in which the events of my life occur. I saw I am not my
story. I saw I'm enough. That's my gift to her. No, not
that she gets it about me: that she gets it about
herself.
One day when my love has flown away, I'll know she's OK in life because
she knows who she is and she knows it's enough. She my legacy - not
just another consumer but rather a gorgeous magnanimous space which,
once known, leaves the world divinely gifted, irretrievably and
irrevocably altered.