Within societies ("us" vs "them", the
"good" guys vs the "bad" guys,
ourgod
is better than yourgod,
etc),
fear
is a great uniter. Among individuals,
fear
is a great leveler, a great
common
denominator.
Shy people are shy because they're
afraid.
People who brag, brag because they're
afraid.
Meek people are meek because they're
afraid.
People who bully, are bullies because they're
afraid.
People who lie, cheat, and steal, do so because they're
afraid.
People who strive for wealth and fortune at any cost, do so
because they're
afraid.
People who are closed to entertaining new ideas, do so because they're
afraid.
People who foist their beliefs on others, do so because they're
afraid.
People who want to conquer and dominate others, do so because they're
afraid.
People who avoid being conquered and dominated, do so
because they're
afraid.
People who avoid the law, do so because they're
afraid.
People who enforce the law, do so because they're
afraid
- really!
For the most part, we're the way we are, as societies and as
individuals, because we're
afraid.
It's pernicious. It's very pernicious. It's
everywhere. It's not bound by country, creed, culture, or era.
No one's immune. It's the design of being human.
We live, for the most part, in modus operandi which may
best be described as surviving (ie surviving
fear
and danger - both real and imaginary) and protecting (ie
protecting what we got - which
devolves
into holding on to what we got).
I assert when living is all about surviving and protecting, there's no
fulfillment
in it. I'm not asking you to accept this just because I said it. I'm
asking you to try it on for size. I'm asking you to consider
"What if it were true?". I'm asking you to look at whether
the absence of
fulfillment
in living makes more sense (if I may say it this way) when
you consider the spoiling roles of surviving and
protecting - no matter how necessary both may seem to be.
When living is merely surviving and protecting, there's no
fulfillment
in it, and there's no
freedom.
So what then, I ask, is
the way out
of this dilemma, the dilemma which seemingly has us moving in two
opposite, contradictory directions at once. We move toward
fulfillment
and
freedom,
and yet we also move toward surviving
fear
and danger, and protecting what we got, both of which comprise the very
antithesis of
fulfillment
and
freedom.
Part of the resolution of this state of affairs comes with seeing the
humor in the situation. When everyone is
afraid
of everyone else ... there's humor in there somewhere,
yes? When you're
afraid
of everyone else, and you don't realize everyone else is also
afraid of everyone else ... that's very funny! And when you
finally get that while you'reafraid
of everyone else, everyone else is
afraid
of you ... it's hilarious, a shaking belly laughing
inside joke about how
afraid
we are of everyone else without realizing everyone else is
afraid
of us ...
Clearly in the absence of this realization, the street
smart way to be is to keep on surviving and protecting, isn't
it? So now consider this: if you're
afraid
of me (which keeps you stuck in surviving and protecting) and I'm
afraid
of you (which keeps me stuck in surviving and protecting), how easy
would it be for both of us to give it up? I don't know
about you, but I find the simplicity of this possibility to be
inspiring ... and I find the part where, for the most part we, as
humanity, don't give it up to be especially ironic.
But it's not ironic like laughing at us at our
expense. It's ironic like laughing with us in love
and compassion. It's ironic like laughing with us in love and
compassion for what we could become ...
Pragmatically speaking, people won't stop being
afraid
of you (so they won't stop surviving and they won't stop protecting
themselves against you) just because you've stopped being
afraid
of them. You have to
enroll
them in this - as a possibility for themselves and for their lives. In
the meantime, speak softly and carry a big stick. Be both fearless
and street smart.