I am indebted to Jenny Charno who inspired this conversation.
Normally when I complain, it is to be right that
"something's wrong".
It is never with the intention to access possibility. It is to make
something or someone wrong. Also, it is most often from the foundation
that someone else - not I - is to blame, and that they will do
something about it, once my complaint is heard.
This is George Bernard Shaw from his play "Man and Superman":
<quote>
This is the true joy of life: being used for a purpose recognized by
yourself as a mighty one and being a force of nature instead of a
feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining
that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
<unquote>
I am struck by what a revolutionary notion it is to look for
possibility in my complaints. If I shift
"something's wrong"
(which is an already always listening for me) to "something is not
working" (which is a new assessment for which I am willing to be
responsible), I can invent a new outcome for the situation, beyond
merely stopping after complaining about it and waiting for someone else
to take the blame or to do something about it.
I can say: "I notice that something is not working here. What
possibility can I invent here, the outcome of which would transform
this situation from non-workability to workability, from complaint to
possibility?"
Again, this is George Bernard Shaw, later in "Man and Superman":
<quote>
Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I
have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as
brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.